Don't React. Respond.

In our relationships, whether at home, work, out and about wherever we may be and whatever we may be doing we can either react or respond. At first glance the two are not all that different but there is one distinct difference between the two that makes one for better for us to use than the other. The main difference between the two is control.

Reactions are automatic. Isaac Newton said "For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction." You can’t help it. It just happens. It's like watching someone belly flop from a high diving board – the moment you hear that slap of flesh on water you can’t help but ‘oooooohhh’ That’s a reaction.

Responses are controlled. They involve time to reflect, consider one’s actions and make your move. Responses are far more helpful in relationships than reactions. But they take a lot more work to master.

If there was one person who lived a lifestyle of reactions and learned this lesson the hard way it was a guy called Peter. Peter was one of Jesus’ closest friends. He was one of his apprentices, his followers. Peter had a habit of reacting rather than responding to various situations... and we’re going to look at a couple examples of his rashness and see how we can learn from his mistakes.

Everything changes

Change is everywhere.

As mentioned in my previous blog, a lot has changed for me personally lately; new job, new flat, new wife! But the changes go further than that. There is change as the leaves on the trees turn from green to gold. Change in the route of the bus as it goes on diversion due to roadworks totally avoiding my intended destination and leaving me with a walk to work in the rain, which was the very reason I took the bus in the first place.

From the roof of our block of flats there is a fantastic view of the London Skyline. From Canary Wharf to the east, across to Bank, St Paul's, London Bridge and over to the west towards the London Eye and into the distance. Classic buildings and cathedrals are merged with flats and warehouses and punctuated by high rise office blocks, towers and skyscrapers.

Dotted in amongst the established landmarks are new developments. Cranes feature prominently in the London cityscape. Virtually every view of London now has a crane in it somewhere.

The city is changing, developing, upgrading, expanding, enhancing, adapting, evolving, growing...

The city is only a reflection of the people who live within it. We are infatuated with change, upgrading to get the latest apps and gadgets, relaunching and recreating our wardrobes and image. We want bigger and better and faster and we mould the city accordingly.

The main question is...

Are we changing for the better?

Will a multi-billion dollar skyscraper provide inspiration for a more sensible pace of life?
Will the latest this-or-that create a more tangible sense of community and belonging or just add to the ever-increasing loneliness epidemic that floods our cities?

At Church.co.uk and Oasis, there are exciting plans to developing the site. It's our 2020 vision. By which time London will have anything up to 14 new high-rise buildings either completed or under construction. But the development of the Oasis Centre and the Church.co.uk premises is not the goal. Our vision is to transform the community.

We want to provide for those who need help.
We want to be a place where people feel welcome and safe and accepted.
We want to work with people to develop the area into a place where families want to live rather than feeling trapped by circumstances.

A building can never in itself achieve that. But a Church with a passion for Jesus and what he has asked us to do can!

Change is here to stay.

All change please. All change.

Wow. The past three months have been jam-packed and lived at a furious pace.

Not a lot has remained the same. I no longer live in the little box room at college on the top of the Hill, I'm in our perfect new flat on the Monopoly board. It was pretty empty for a while; just an air-bed and a couple of bookshelves for company. We were then joined by a table and chairs, a TV stand (but no TV, that's a rant I shall save for another time!), a proper bed and lots, and lots of other little bits.

I spent the summer growing into my new job as Head of Music and Arts at Church.co.uk, spending a lot of time working with Southside Radio and building relationships with the Old Vic Tunnels. The Tunnels team gave us plenty of opportunites to let our budding radio reporters review shows, interview artists, directors, producers, and generally experience the fantastic atmosphere in the Tunnels. If you get a chance to go, you will not be disappointed.

And last, but certainly not least, on 18 September I got married to my beautiful Kathryn. It was a perfect day surrounded by friends and family and with God at the centre where He should be. We then spent the rest of the weekend in Oxford, a week in Venice and a week settling into our home together.

Now we're pretty much back down to earth and ready to begin 'real-life' together.
That hopefully explains the rather large period of silence since the last blog and this one. Regular service will resume shortly. Thank you for your patience.

A Lesson from Tiepolo

I had the opportunity to visit Dulwich Picture Gallery recently. It’s a fantastic place with a great collection of artwork and a real sense of history. Within the collection was a particular painting that caught my eye.

A painting by Giambattista Tiepolo called ‘Joseph receiving Pharaoh's Ring’. It was painted around 1733-35 and is a beautiful, fine piece of work and well worthy of a place in the gallery. But it wasn’t so much the artist’s skill that caught my attention, or the style or the colours he used.

It was something far subtler.

Something I read in the little description hanging next to the piece.

It informed me that one of the characters in the background, the more distant of the two trumpeters, is actually reckoned to be a self-portrait. Tiepolo painted himself in the story. And it was this idea that sparked my thoughts. This was a fantastic concept

– putting yourself in the story.

It’s a technique that could revolutionise reading the Bible. Stories could come to life by imagining yourself in the story. Where would you be? Would you be front row or somewhere in the background? What are the sights, the sounds, the smells?

Imagine the scenes around Jesus while he toured the countryside teaching, performing miracles, meeting people, having a laugh with everyone around him. Where would you be? Trying to sneak closer to hear him more clearly? Hoping to catch his eye and ask for a miracle? Trying to avoid him because he was teaching things a bit too risky and too close for comfort?

What about our worship songs? How different would they be if we wrote songs with ourselves in the stories? Would they be simple little ditties about how much we love God, or would they be drenched in real emotion rooted in a more intense understand of the story of God? What themes would emerge from inside the narrative rather than a safer location on the sidelines?

Paint yourself in the story. Let me know what you see.

Adventurous (Different Eyes: The art of living beautifully)

The pop-culture way of doing Christian ethics is to constantly ask ‘What Would Jesus Do?’. And whilst this is quite a handy little catchphrase and reminder, and wristband, and pencil, and t-shirt, and CD holder, and egg cup... it’s harder than it seems because we don’t have a guidebook of what Jesus would do, we’ve only got a few random accounts of thing Jesus DID do.

Three and a half years worth of touring and teaching condensed into 4 gospel with an average of about 20 chapters – that’s not a lot for an Ethical resource or advice guide. But Jesus never came to give as a guidebook. He didn’t come to give us a moral A-to-Z he came to show us How – to – See.

Jesus taught in a way that demonstrated character. And he gave dozens of stories and sketches of how to do it. Take the Good Samaritan for example: That is not a story to store away in your memory just in case the next time you’re travelling on the motorway you find a guy who’s been beaten up and left for dead. It’s giving a glimpse of how to imitate God. It’s not necessarily about rules and regulations and religion.

Pope John Paul said this: It’s not that the gospel has changed; it is just that our understanding of it is slowly growing. We’re all still learning about Jesus. We’re still learning about loving God with our heart and soul and mind and strength. We’re still learning who our neighbours are, let alone about loving them. And our whole lives are set towards getting to know Jesus. We have to pursue Jesus. To keep studying him. To keep figuring him out. He’s the most complex man in History – to think we’ve got him all sussed out is both arrogant and, well, just plain stupid!

I’m getting married in September and I was given this advice a while ago: Don't marry so you can stop pursuing women. Marry so you can perfect the pursuit one woman for a lifetime. We’re called as a church to perfect the pursuit of Jesus for a lifetime.

In order to know what Jesus would do, we have to know Jesus, and in order to know Jesus we have to follow Jesus. Jesus said ‘follow me’, not ‘follow a set of concepts or a code of conduct or an institution’. It’s about being his follower, his apprentice, learning from him, learning what he’s like and copying him.

The reassuring thing about following Jesus is that he knows where he’s going. There is an end to the story. We all like a happy ending. And this story has got a cracker. From the first moments of Jesus’ ministry on earth he had a goal in mind. This was more than a pipe-dream or a good idea. Jesus was working to bring about the Kingdom of God; To challenge the wayward earthly interpretations of religion and politics and social justice; He wanted to bring people’s attention to a way of living beautifully. And as well as having a goal in mind, he had a strategy. Reaching out to the poor and the sick and those on the margins. Speaking up for people who couldn’t speak. Loving the unloved. Giving people a new, fresh start. He wasn’t just waiting for the new heaven and new earth to arrive, he was ushering it in. It was starting to arrive there and then. And as a church we can join in: The Church’s cry is: if the future looks like this, let’s work to bring it here, now! We don’t have to wait to be involved in the Kingdom of God.

I used to work with Spring Harvest Holidays. Part of my job was heading up the 11-13’s team which took a lot of energy and effort. I should probably add too that my sleep patterns are fairly erratic at the best of times. I often go through spells of insomnia and one of those spells was at SHH. Sleep deprivation and youth work don’t mix. It was the end of one of the morning sessions, we finished at midday and had about two minutes left before we could let the kids go and to get their attention I said “We’ll see you tomorrow morning, and you know what tomorrow is...?!”

Thursday? Water fight day? Talent show day? Could have been any of those but me and my sleep deprived head said... IT’S CHRISTMAS! (It was August! My team glared at me. The kids got excited and ran out) The following day we did Christmas: Toilet paper snowmen, Christmas decorations, carols, party food. The Works.

Most of the kids that week were staying on the following week so we thought we’d carry the theme over... and what happens the week after Christmas?

NEW YEAR – in the middle of a baking hot day in August we had a New Years Eve party. We had party poppers and food and dancing. We sang Auld Lang Syne and we counted down to Mid-night at 12 noon. it was brilliant!

Unbeknown to me and my team, the pastoral care couple were sitting just outside our venue with a woman in floods of tears. Her marriage was breaking down, she’d been quite ill, because of all this her kids were struggling at school and her prayer was ‘God, I wish this year could just start again’. And at that moment, I sent 150 11-13year olds running past her screaming at the top of their lungs HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

The New is here Now! We can choose to live beautifully now. We can follow Jesus now. We can know Jesus now. One day the kingdom of God will be established in full but we can be adventurous and be part of it NOW!

Forgetting what lies behind...

The England v Germany fiasco was abysmal. While the country mourns the apparent footballing death of the 'golden generation' we must look now to the future. What of the Euro's in 2012? What of the next World Cup in four years time?

The fact is the curtain has fallen for the likes of Gerrard, Lampard, Joe Cole, John Terry and Gareth Barry. They've had their chance and they've failed to fulfill their potential on the main stage; 2002, 2006 and 2010 all promised much and delivered nothing but disappointment. All of them will be over 30 in 2014. If there were concerns that the team this year was too old it is certainly time to retire the old guard before the next tournament!

Instead, focus on the new players.

In 2014, for the World Cup in Brazil, we could have a team that looks like this:

Joe HART (27)

Micah RICHARDS (26) Michael DAWSON (30) Joleon LESCOTT (31) Leighton BAINES (29)

Aaron LENNON (27) Tom HUDDLESTONE (27) Aashley YOUNG (28)

Wayne ROONEY (28)

Theo WALCOTT (25) Gabriel AGBONLAHOR (27)

With the likes of Shawcross, Milner, Johnson and Bent on the bench there is the makings of a good sqaud; a squad that can be enriched by the next batch of young talent - Jack Wilshire, Jack Rodwell and Danny Wellbeck.

If the England manager begins playing this kind of team now it gives them four years to gel, to learn to play together, to develop the team spirit that was evidently lacking from the current group of talented individuals. Play them through the qualifiers and, hopefully, finals of the European Championships in 2012. Let them feel what it's like to play at a big tournament.

If the current players genuinely want to be a part of the England setup let them play a role similar to David Beckham this year; a mentor, a morale booster, a voice of experience and encouragement.

I reckon this is the way forward. Who's with me?

I don't want to be an England player.

In the aftermath of yet another disappointing world cup for England I, like many other football fans, begin to reflect on what went wrong.

According to some of the leading players the training was perfect, the preparations were perfect, the hotel setup and arrangements were all perfect. So how was it that a group of the best English players failed to play to their full potential? failed to play as a team? failed to live up to the expectation that was put on this 'golden generation'?

The million pound question is surely this: How can our top players have excellent seasons for their clubs and not continue that good form in an England shirt?

The England team that were utterly outplayed and ultimately knocked out of the World Cup by a Germany side that, in all honesty, we should have beaten, featured players that we the key to successful seasons for Chelsea, Manchester United, Tottenham Hotspur, Aston Villa and others. Our strikers alone scored, somewhat ironically, sixty-six goals between them this season for their clubs, and yet the England team managed only 3 (plus that one that was not given).

We didn't even score against Algeria.

This is the inquest that will continue for a long time to come. I don't have all the answers. But one thing I am sure of is that I don't want to be like an 'England player'.

I don't want to be inconsistent.

Whatever role I'm playing, in whatever context and whatever situation I'm in I want to operate with integrity, creativity and passion.

I don't want to give people an opportunity to accuse me of never giving 100% in any area of my life. I don't want people to see a 'club' and 'country' distinction in what I do. I want to play well.

David Beckham remains to this day one of my all time favourite players. He has been criticised in more recent games he has featured in for not being quick enough or being too old. In truth, Beckham has never been particularly quick, at least not compared to Aaron Lennon or Theo Walcott. But Beckham's strength is in his work rate. His passion in an England shirt is inspiring. His professionalism is second-to-none. He still has an ability to give those around him a boost. There was rarely ever a 'club vs country' dilemma for David Beckham. Even off the pitch he has proven to be a good father and a faithful husband, despite the media speculations and tabloid attempts to break up his marriage and family.

I'm sure in August all the players will return to playing for their clubs and have a great season. I'm sure there will be more England games and more disappointment and debate over players not transferring their club form onto the international stage.

But I don't want to be an 'England player'.

I want to be consistent.