Ok, so the lyrics have been up a couple of months now and, after many comments wondering 'who is she?', I figured now is the time to reveal what they're actually about.
In actual fact, they're not about a girl at all. They're not technically about any person other than me.
I was reading in Romans 7 where Paul is explaining how he argues with the two versions of himself: the Bad Paul before he met Jesus, and the Good Paul after he met Jesus.
"I know that all God's commands are spiritual, but I'm not. Isn't this also your experience? Yes. I'm full of myself—after all, I've spent a long time in sin's prison. What I don't understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can't be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God's command is necessary.
"But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can't keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.
"It happens so regularly that it's predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God's commands, but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.
"I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question?
"The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different."
Just as Paul struggled with trying not to do the things he knew were wrong, and struggling just as much to do the things he knew he should do, I find myself battling with the two versions of Jimmy.
There is the Bad, Selfish Jimmy who wants to do whatever he wants and pay no attention to anyone else's feelings. Then then is the Good Jimmy who wants to be the best he can be, serve God the best he can and try as much as possible to put others before himself and to genuinely care for the people around him.
It's not always easy. And so these lyrics try and paint a picture of that ongoing struggle.
